The UK Christian Singles Community.

Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you will make in your lifetime. Aside from your faith, it may be your single most important decision. It can be easy to be swept up in chemistry and romance, but living with someone and committing to them for life cannot be based solely on romantic feelings. A hard examination of your own personal values, and making sure your potential spouse shares them, is one important key to a lasting relationship.

A tool you can use is a values inventory. This lengthy list of personal values can get you started in determining what your top five are for yourself, what you’d like them to be (if different) for your partner, and what your LEAST important values are. Sometimes the least important are more telling than the most!

Prepare to spend some time on this. If you get stuck, ask your friends and family what they think your values are, based on your behavior. Consider how you like to spend your time, the type of work you like to do and the types of community service you get involved in. However, particularly if you are young, be patient with yourself. You are still learning and developing your own identity and people change their values over time. Try and think long term. Flexibility should be a top priority for all of us!

Don’t whitewash your partner’s behavior and values because you are infatuated. If you have misgivings, listen to that voice. We don’t always know if they are ‘right’ for us immediately. But if you start wanting to make a commitment, be sure you have a strong grasp of your own and your potential spouse’s values.